I’m so ready for this.
I got my pen (er, keyboard), my notebook (AKA OpenOffice document), and my cup of rooibos tea. That… is now empty.
But that’s irrelevant! Because now I’m going to teach you how to be a true. writer.
But first, let me tell you the difference between a writer and an author. Reaadyyy? 1. Author (aw’-thor) n. A person who writes. 2. Writer (rye’-der) n. A person who writes.
Okay, no. I actually looked up the difference between a writer and an author, but according to the dictionary I use, they’re about the same, and according to whoever else you ask… it really just depends. In general, though, people seem to say a writer is any person who writes, while an author seems more legit and serious who actually possibly has some works published.
THEREFORE, we will stick with how to be a “writer.” Here are your rules:
- Grab a cup of coffee. Or tea. Or juice. Or water. You know, whatever… floats… your boat. And then, as you write, take a sip every now and then. Slurp it nice and loud so everyone knows you’re drinking it.
- Put on your glasses or buy a fake pair like I did. Then you look legit.
- Have something to write with/on. Hoping that one was pretty obvious, because…. derp, good luck without it.
- Conquer writer’s block! And if you’re successful enough with it, start your own blog about it, because everybody honestly needs more ideas on how to rid their minds of this terrible blockage. Really though.
- Go with Nike. That is to say, just do it. Then tell me that you did, and I can make you a super duper awesome certificate of achievement like this one:
Ain’t that nice? So there you go. Now you’re an official writer. Congraaats.